My year2010

Its the last day of the year,
and yes im gonna miss the year,
as it marks everything that i've been through.
I dont care if its a good time or bad time,
but every single thing happened throughout year,
reminds me that i've grown a little older,
and one step closer to the reality world.
People keep walking in and out of my life,
some they stay and some were just touch and go,
and you realize no one is suppose to stay.
So always appreciate life,
as you'll never know what will happen next.


And after all,
its still a good year.

Goodbye, i miss u 2010.




There are too many regrets in life,
sometimes we just need to leave them behind,
and move on.



HAPPY NEW YEAR

A goodbye letter

Happy winter solstice

Happy birthday to you

what happened 5years back of today

it was the moment to be remembered in a life time

the chocolate

the kiss

the begin of the most beautiful journey that you ever gave

and 5years later

you kiss on my forehead

and gently wiped away my tears

it reminds me so much of the past

of the memories that i've been holding on so tight

but eventually i realize

i've been struggling in the past for too long

knowing that we can never be the same

so today

i buried all my feelings and memories

ended the 5years journey and move on

because there's always someone there waiting for me

thank you for everything
goodbye

p/s: as i said, what comes around goes around, karma bites, and it hits you back so hard right on your FACE! i had him once, and you, never.

生日快乐

祝我

生日快乐

闭上眼

许个愿

愿望就会成真

我，还是幸福的。

因为你

心，还会感动，

因为你还是会把我照顾得小心翼翼，

因为你就是不会生气我向你发脾气，

因为你会在睡觉时从背后把我抱紧，

因为你在漆黑的晚上会擦擦我的眼睛，害怕我在偷哭，

因为你说我是你永远的bebe，

因为你给的爱，不仅是四年，而是一辈子。

因为你，我幸福了。

The boring holiday

Everyone went to the beach...redang, phuket, and bali, except me, and i am really envy of them. I can't remember when was the last time i listen to the rhyme of the ocean waves, watch the sunset as the sun gone for the night, walking along the seaside with the barefoot while the wind gently blow on my face.

Aww...i seriously wish i can off from the town and go for the beach. I WANT A HOLIDAY TO THE BEACH! And so i'm off to bed now, atleast i dream on it.

where is my holiday?

:(

To tell

Tons of feelings that i always wanted to tell,

i wanted to tell you how i felt for you,

i wanted to tell you that i've missed you,

i wanted to tell you of the bad days i had,

i wanted to tell you every single little thing,


But whenever i'm with you,

i'm happy until i forgot what i'm supposed to tell,

cause i just want to fall asleep in your arms quietly.

And all i wanted to tell you now
is
i love you

The miserable life

I had the worst gastric in my life that made me feel sick for two days long. I feel really bad not because of the pain, but to made the dad and mum worried when they see me sick. They must be worried when the kids are away from home who doesn't know how to take care of themselves. It reminds me one year back after spending ten days in the hospital, i promised to be a healthy girl, your healthy daughter.

And not yet, the worst part is when i'm trying hard in hiding away all the truth form them, which i think this is to be the best to them, and the truth is, i am sick and tired of doing this. I'm so helpless that no one will ever know what i'm going through. Sometimes, i just feel like my soul is just as weak as my body.

How i really wish i got you, not only as a lover but my best friend too, to listen to me when i'm weak, because i wish i can always tell you everything of mine.

But i'm all alone

i love u

Crying at the night, always my bad bad habit. I might be fragile sometimes, i know, but believe me, that i will be fine, because you will never see the me in the past, as i promise. And promise you this is to be the last time, because i am going to hide away all my love, and let everything end in tears.

Memories linger on, it's like a sweet yet sad love song. So allow me to feel your love, your heartbeats and your gentle kiss, once again in this night, that happen to the sweetest dream of mine.

Know that i am gonna love you,
in my special way.

I'm still lucky

Hours ago, i'm looking at my notes but my tears just falling down, like that. I lost my focus as i'm getting emotional, i put aside all the papers and by coincidence, i came across a blog of a girl, and this is a lil part of what she wrote:

“老公应该很怕吧，突然间撞向那么大架的罗里”
“老公应该很痛吧，眼睛流血了”
“老公应该很热吧，警察们把你丢在路边，太阳直接晒到你”
“老公不用怕，警察带你去医院吹冷气了”
今天，就是老公的受难日,他变成了我的回忆,他结束了这场生命.

( Hubby must be afraid, when you crashed into the lorry.
Hubby must be painful, as your eyes bleeding.
Hubby must be hot, that the police leave you at the roadside, exposed under the sun.
Hubby dun be afraid, the police taking you to the hospital.
Today, he become my memory, he ended his life. )

I cry even harder as i read through her entire blog, but i will never know the pain of a girlfriend suffer from the death of her love one. In that moment, i just told myself, that i'm oh so lucky, and i shouldn't be crying now. Instead, appreciate them, the love one, when you still able to hold them, talk to them, and love them. And it's never too late to say the words,
'i love you'.

People, please be grateful, for every breath u are taking in.

where are you?
i need you :(

My nightmare

My body is shivering, I cover myself under the blanket, and I couldn’t stop crying for ten minute as I’m woken up from a nightmare. I couldn’t remember when was the last time I’m having a nightmare, I mean a really frightening one, the terror just wouldn’t go away and I found myself hardly get back to sleep.


Its 4 in the morning, I seriously need some sleep but my mind doesn’t allow me, the shyt is just too much for my lil head and I’m weak at this moment. At one time, my heart can only fit one, or no one. I'm afraid in making up my mind, because just one wrong move is enough to make me regret for really long. I need a break, so that to clear my head and stay away from this mess, and listen to my heart, as it will bring me to where I wanna be.

all you need to do,
is whisper the three magic words,
& i'm yours.

Not a confession

Some beginnings start so quietly and you don't even notice they are happening.
"maybe we would not start something right now, but we will definitely create a memory".
As for me, that's nothing better than having you knowing you care.

并不是妥协，而却也是另一种幸福。
原来，你一直在乎，你懂得珍惜，所以，我更加幸福。



i'm ALL IN
- i <3 you, lwy. -

新年咯

新年新年, 又是新的一年,


接下来的日子, 要对自己说:


1. 对身边的人好一点, 因为你下辈子不一定能够再遇见他。
对自己好一点, 因为一辈子其实很短, 我知道我永远都值得更好的。


2. 与其沉溺在回不来的过去, 我选择相信下一个他会更爱我。
昨天虽然是美好的, 但我要用我的力量, 去创造那一个更美好的明天。


3. 笑一笑, 没什么大不了 =)




最后,

祝,

新年快乐,

也祝,

情人节快乐。

四年

一份双人套餐，

一部看不完的电影，

没有从前的惊喜，

也没有从前的感动。

并不是什么庆祝的日子，

只是纪念一起走过的第1462天。

你说过，

有些事，是不会改变的，

有些人，是无可取代的。

我说，

我没哭，只是回忆太感触，

我不哭，只是眼泪掉下了。

不能牵的手，

我学会微笑去祝福。

我的执著

我以为，我可以忘记。
我承认，我，不争气。

我不甘心那被夺去的幸福，
我更不舍得那剩下的回忆。

四年的感情，
你为我留下些什么？

我为我爱过的而执著，
是我错了么？

如果有一天，
你能到我的心里去看看，
你一定会流泪。

今晚的我，可以再一次的脆弱吗？

*哥，对不起。
那个我，很丑陋。

心情

它轻轻地来了, 也悄悄地走了, 一切, 都安静地过去了。


凌晨四点半,你问我会想你吗? 我没有回答。我, 很想你。只是, 我想的是那一个把我抱得很紧的你, 那一个懂得心疼我的你, 那一个让我如此心动过的你。我想的,不是那个让我害怕的你。你的好, 我都记住了, 那些不能弥补的伤害, 我试着忘掉。我没有要些过什么, 甚至是一句对不起, 也许只是一句好听的话, 也许只是一个简单的拥抱, 我可以就这样地妥协。可是, 当我看见你依然那么理所当然的眼神, 心, 淡了很多。眼前的你, 我再也不懂得。如果不能够一直地喜欢着你, 至少不要破坏从前那么美好的你, 在我对你完全停止心跳之前, 对我好一点, 你还会是那一个我喜欢的你。


哭过了, 我还能释怀的微笑, 因为我永远都比自己想象中的坚强。一切都会过去的, 我依然是美丽的, 我, 依然是那一个骄傲的公主。

今天的我, 很好 ^^

love me, not.

I'm not supposed to like you,
I'm not supposed to care,
I'm not supposed to wonder where you are, or what you're doing,
I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there,
and I'm not supposed to miss you.

Why you have to call when you're leaving me here all alone?
If you're going to make me cry,
at least, be there to wipe away the tears.

If you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter,
does it break your heart too?
even crack it a little bit?

he loves me, not?