Everyone went to the beach...redang, phuket, and bali, except me, and i am really envy of them. I can't remember when was the last time i listen to the rhyme of the ocean waves, watch the sunset as the sun gone for the night, walking along the seaside with the barefoot while the wind gently blow on my face.
Aww...i seriously wish i can off from the town and go for the beach. I WANT A HOLIDAY TO THE BEACH! And so i'm off to bed now, atleast i dream on it.
where is my holiday?
I had the worst gastric in my life that made me feel sick for two days long. I feel really bad not because of the pain, but to made the dad and mum worried when they see me sick. They must be worried when the kids are away from home who doesn't know how to take care of themselves. It reminds me one year back after spending ten days in the hospital, i promised to be a healthy girl, your healthy daughter.
And not yet, the worst part is when i'm trying hard in hiding away all the truth form them, which i think this is to be the best to them, and the truth is, i am sick and tired of doing this. I'm so helpless that no one will ever know what i'm going through. Sometimes, i just feel like my soul is just as weak as my body.
How i really wish i got you, not only as a lover but my best friend too, to listen to me when i'm weak, because i wish i can always tell you everything of mine.
Crying at the night, always my bad bad habit. I might be fragile sometimes, i know, but believe me, that i will be fine, because you will never see the me in the past, as i promise. And promise you this is to be the last time, because i am going to hide away all my love, and let everything end in tears.
Memories linger on, it's like a sweet yet sad love song. So allow me to feel your love, your heartbeats and your gentle kiss, once again in this night, that happen to the sweetest dream of mine.
Hours ago, i'm looking at my notes but my tears just falling down, like that. I lost my focus as i'm getting emotional, i put aside all the papers and by coincidence, i came across a blog of a girl, and this is a lil part of what she wrote:
“老公应该很怕吧，突然间撞向那么大架的罗里”
“老公应该很痛吧，眼睛流血了”
“老公应该很热吧，警察们把你丢在路边，太阳直接晒到你”
“老公不用怕，警察带你去医院吹冷气了”
今天，就是老公的受难日,他变成了我的回忆,他结束了这场生命.
( Hubby must be afraid, when you crashed into the lorry.
Hubby must be painful, as your eyes bleeding.
Hubby must be hot, that the police leave you at the roadside, exposed under the sun.
Hubby dun be afraid, the police taking you to the hospital.
Today, he become my memory, he ended his life. )
I cry even harder as i read through her entire blog, but i will never know the pain of a girlfriend suffer from the death of her love one. In that moment, i just told myself, that i'm oh so lucky, and i shouldn't be crying now. Instead, appreciate them, the love one, when you still able to hold them, talk to them, and love them. And it's never too late to say the words,
'i love you'.
People, please be grateful, for every breath u are taking in.
where are you?
